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So Tony surprised me with a Bamboo One Wacom Tablet – something I wanted to mess around with for ages. I don’t have any drawing ability but had messed around with cat cartoons since I was a kid and decided it would be the perfect thing to try. Here it is!
SO.. Tony surprised me the other day and bought me (us) a wii console, which I have wanted for aaages. Just the basic unit that comes with the wiisports game and it’s a lot of fun… and active! Both our right arms are on the achy side now. Might have to consider changing hands a few times Anywho, the wiifit phenomena has intrigued me. Gimmick or actually useful in getting fitter and some weight off. Anyone who knows me, also knows I have serious weight problems due to several factors including a badforme(tm) food habit. I also don’t have much confidence so find it very hard to go to a gym or well, be out of the house around people (they are scary!). Tony surprised me (that’s getting to be a habit there dear!) again and had rung round various places to see if anyone had the wiifit in stock and dispatched me to ToysRus as they had just gotten a delivery. That was a surreal experience in itself but I digress. Got it home, set it up and did 30 minutes of exercises without my mind realising it (my body is another story!) and it was… HYSTERICAL. I haven’t done 30 minutes of intense exercising in a loooong time and it was neither boring nor tedious.. just FUN. I also know now just how bad my balance is Time will tell if it really does improve my level of fitness but any exercise at all coupled with my diet has to be a good thing. And above all, anything that can make me laugh until I cry HAS to be good Wiiiii Tony made this CUTE Lolcat for Icanhascheezburger which is our favourite laugh your ass off site. It’s FIZZ! (in case you couldn’t tell)
Tony informs me it’s been too long since I’ve posted anything. He’s usually right Tony and I are fine, the cats are insane but great and make us laugh daily with their antics – (I so wish I could draw, I’d make a webcomic about them). We just celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary (10 years?!) and usually we are doing well if we both remember the month let alone the actual date Just a few words on marriage (have a snooze if you want) Over the years it has not been plain sailing. My mental health problems have caused a lot of grief for both of us (mostly for Tony coping with a very sick wife) and my self-destructive tendencies could well have ended it for us. Tony stuck by me however, through everything me and my illness threw at him, until I realised I could trust him implicitly and no matter what I went through, he would be right there supporting me. That’s not to say he didn’t get angry at times, at being helpless to ‘fix’ me and watch me hurt us both in my messed up determination to make everyone hate me as much as I hated myself. As my treatment progressed and I was able to mature a bit (OK a lot), it got easier to deal with and as my understanding and attitudes towards myself changed and I calmed down, I hope he began to see a lot more of the ‘real me’ rather than the ‘sick me’. I couldn’t have done any of it without him and I hope I am there for him as much as he has been there for me. *soppiness alert – this is not a drill* In other news, I have to say a HUGE congratulations to my sister and brother in law on the birth of their third child – Welcome to the world Charlie! I got to meet him last weekend and he is SO cute and has MAD hair That’s about it for now, will try to blog again before another year passes It’s finally happened, I have a new Furbaby! First off, thanks SO much to Tony who loved me enough to indulge my need to have another furkid. I felt a huge gap when Squeak passed on, we had such a close bond and I loved her so much. I love my darling Bubbles just as much, but she has never needed the level of affection in the way that Squeak did. She also bonded with Tony more than I (they are so cute together!). So I had been getting increasingly broody and emotional because I had all this love to give and Bubbles just didn’t need or want it. She even got quite grumpy with me when I tried I recently joined a fantastic online forum called Catsey and it helped talking to other cat nuts and to see the pictures of their furry babies. One of the ladies on the message boards fosters cats for the CPL and had a cat in called Fizz. I loved the look of her picture as she was uncannily like Squeak but as she had been reserved to go to a home, I thought nothing more of it. Last week, the lady contacted me and asked if I was interested in her as 2 home offers had now fallen through for poor Fizz. After talking it over with Tony, we arranged to go and meet her and if she liked us, we would bring her home!!!. I went into her pen and she leapt up onto me and I was smitten She is everything I was looking for Bubbles is doing better than I expected. We’ve had hissing and a couple of paws lashing out (but nowhere near each other) and they seem to be getting on better each day, I really hope it continues to improve as time goes on. I remember when we first had Bubbles and Squeak was in situ and not impressed at all. They had some quite spectacular arguments and in time they sorted themselves out and tolerated each other, so on the whole, this has been a much better experience, please let it continue to be! Fizz is a bundle of energy and affection and takes flying leaps at me when I am sitting in the computer chair. My shoulders and back look like a well used pincushion right now so we are trying to train her to be invited up rather than just leap at me when I don’t notice. She understands ‘NO’ thankfully so hopefully it will take. She likes climbing everything too which we haven’t had with Bubbles since she was a kitten so again we are trying to establish boundaries early on. Tomorrow she goes to the Vets to have her first set of injections. The final set are given after 2 weeks and then she can start going out. She has seen Bubbles asking to be let out and is doing the same thing already That’s about it for now, I will finish with a pic!  Hi I’m Fizz!
Well today I had another Psychiatrist appointment. The last few have not been good for various reasons and I was ready to throw in the towel. I didn’t expect it to go any better this time but oddly it was very good. I’d decided already to accept some courses I had been offered – Confidence / Self-Esteem and also an Anxiety Management one. The last few times it had been brought up, I had panicked at the thought of having to go to an unfamiliar place and meet strangers and just couldn’t. Just lately I feel I have been progressing again. I’ve been getting out and seeing friends again, been feeling the desire to get out too which I haven’t felt in a long time. Ok it’s only once or twice a week but better than once a month. My mood has been low but I have also been quite positive about things and that led me to the decision to see if I could gain some insight from these courses. Maybe deciding it for myself rather than it being pressed on me made the difference. The psychiatrist thought about changing my medication since I was still getting these low moods but I honestly said that since they didn’t last any where near as long as they used to, I could cope with them and also felt that in general they kept me fairly stable. I felt he was listening to me and agreed to keep things the same as long as I felt I was ‘OK’. We had a chat about Dysthymia in general and how having a positive outlook and be willing and accepting new things to try makes all the difference. I know the tablets won’t cure me but they will help me to have a quality of life I am relatively happy with. I seem to have had a stair like progression throughout the years with my illness. I climb a step then have to wait a while, until I get used to it and then feel I can progress again. I really think I have taken another step. Anyway, enough introspection, here’s a lolcat  Feeling much better now, I do tend to panic when I go down like that, out of fear that it will be another deep and long bout. Thanks so much to my great friends for their support and hugs and to my wonderful husband Tony, who is always calm and reassuring and *always* there for me. I really can’t thank you all enough. So here is a Lolcat  So today I wake up and feel spacey and not quite all there. As usual I tell Tony I’m fine, I tell myself I’m fine and despite trying to stay positive, gradually my mood drops over the day. Now at 15.14 I can’t stop crying and I have to admit I am having a very bad day. No reason, nothing sparked it off, it just happens for no apparent reason. Go Dysthymia! I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel, that I don’t have anything to look forward to and there is no point in living anymore. I feel fat and ugly and am completely and utterly worthless as a human being. I know this bout will pass, it may only last a day or it could last a week or a month until I return to my usual ‘level’. I’ve fought hard to get to that level and I get angry that for no reason, I get knocked from it and have to claw my way back up again. I refuse to give in to it tho, it’s not the real ‘me’. The ‘ill me’ and the ‘level me’ are two such very different people and I *really* don’t like ill me. My usual instinct is to hide and avoid people when I am like this but Tony persuaded me that blogging about it could be a good thing, that it will get some of it out and in doing so might just help. He’s usually right so I am gonna trust him on this So Blegh for the moment, but normal service should be resumed shortly. *hugs* Well I intended to blog more and do a daily lolcat but sadly my Step-Nan Biz passed away. She was a formidable woman and will be greatly missed by her friends and family. I have some very fond memories of her and am glad she is now at peace and with those she loved that passed on before her. I am addicted to Lolcat pictures so I am going to try and post one a day. I will add links to the sites I get them from, these cats are just too damn funny and some of the captions are pure genius! 
This my favourite one, I just want to hug the kitty!!
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