Random Witterings!

As probably anyone who reads this blog knows (all 2 of you ), I’ve been dieting for quite some time off an on.  I did well using Weightwatchers Online and came down from 23 stone to 18 and then it all just… stopped.  No matter what I did I just couldn’t get below that and ended up really fed up and decided to take a break.

To my shame my weight has slowly (and thankfully it has been slowly) crept up again by 2 stone, so still 3 stone lighter than when I began but I know what I am like and that trend would continue until I was back where I started.

And I just can’t go there again.

Some of the extra weight is lean muscle formation as I have been working out at the gym once or twice a week and then doing aqua-aerobics on a friday (highly recommended, it’s hilarious!).  I do have to accept responsibility for the rest though (and I am).  My shape has changed quite dramatically thanks to the exercise and I still feel proud of that achievement, but the rest.. not so much.

My back has been playing up due to the extra weight and while I shouldn’t need that as the impetus to lose again, the fear of again having to use a stick to walk has given me the kick up the backside I needed.  Fear is a very powerful motivator.

I was going to go back to using Weightwatchers but it wasn’t really appealing because I’d been doing it for so long and was tired of it.  A few friends have been doing Slimming World and had some good results.  One friend in particular has done amazingly well and to name and applaud the man who is like a big brother to me – Simes! He has been really inspiring.

So I decided to give Slimming World a chance.  I joined once a long time ago and did OK but didn’t go for very long.  I’d heard good things about the changes and the most shocking thing to me… I wanted to go to the meetings instead of doing it online.

Just to touch on why that’s shocking – My mental health is about as good as it’s going to get at this stage and that’s OK, I am stable in the right environment and am making more of an effort to get out of the house to places I know well and feel safe.  Going to somewhere new and unfamiliar is horrendously scary for me and even a year ago wouldn’t be something I would be able to do.  A stroke of luck came from a girl who is in the same aqua-aerobics class as me, we were chatting about slimming world and she said she goes to the same location and class that I wanted to and she understood my fear and it was a huge relief that I would know someone there and it made me more determined.

So Tues 22nd I signed up, got weighed (eek) and stayed for the meeting and it was really great.  Everyone was so friendly, and were all shapes and sizes.  Some people were just starting like me or were on their journeys or had finished them but stayed so they could maintain their loss.  It was just a really positive experience.

So this week was my first weigh-in and I thought I’d done OK, the diet was actually really easy to follow and I never went hungry but there is always that voice in the back of your head saying ‘don’t be daft, you won’t have lost anything’.

I was stunned and happy to prove it wrong to lose 7.5 1bs and got my first award sticker!!!

I know every week won’t be like that as usually you do lose quite a bit your first week but it was still an amazing boost and am happy to settle into it now and try and do a nice steady 1-3 lbs per week.

Wish me luck!!!

Yesterday my lovely friend Tracey and I went to the Birmingham NEC for our annual spring attendance at the Craft and Sewing Exhibition.  As we walked down to the main entrance my inner fangirl perked into overdrive as we saw a huge line-up of Stormtroopers, Darth Vader and numerous other characters from Star Wars, SG1 and Stargate Atlantis.  Unknown to me, there was also an exhibition called Memorabilia going on too that I really wish I’d known about!  Anyway, I managed to bug Tracey into taking several pics for me of the line-up which she kindly did and also I accosted a few Stormtroopers who were bravely patrolling the corridors inside   I have to say they were awesome, really polite and must have posed countless times for a lot of people.  I even saw one elderly lady having her picture taken with a couple of them which just really tickled me.  Later on I saw Indiana Jones cracking away with his whip and a very shiny Cylon stalking the halls.  The SG1 team were really cool and ooh, Darth Maul growled at me… heeee

All the characters were there courtesy of www.ukgarrison.com and their partner organisations and I have to say HUGE kudos to them.

Here are a couple of the pics!

I slammed my thumb into the ball at the end of the bannister and bent back half the nail and stunned the joint, now can’t bend it properly.

OUCHIES!

… since I updated my personal blog.  Most of my blogging efforts have been spent on my book review website at www.bookthing.co.uk and I just realised I’ve let this one lapse.  Oops!

Today was a bit of a milestone for me.  20 weeks ago, I asked my GP about the ‘Exercise on prescription’ scheme I’d heard about (also known as GP referral at participating gyms).  Luckily the closest one I could go to was West Park Leisure Centre, which is just up the road and also a place I had been to before when I was in one of my less agoraphobic phases, so I was able to keep a lid on anxiety.  While I didn’t know anyone, I was so fed up of my grumpy back and that my weight loss had halted, it gave me the courage to say yes when they contacted me to sign on to the scheme.

Today was my last session under the scheme and I feel really proud that I managed to stick not only at the gym once a week but also take a chance on something I’ve never done before which was Aqua-aerobics.  End results have been around a stone in weight loss and 4 inches off my tummy which is probably the hardest place for me to shift any fat.

The scheme itself was brilliant, the lady who manages it at the leisure centre was lovely and encouraging and the gym instructor who is trained for it was just awesome.  Additionally there was an NHS lady who can ‘buddy’ with you on any activity you wanted to try (it was she that got me into Aqua-aerobics) and I can’t express how much that helped.

For someone like me who has mental health problems the whole thing has been a godsend.

The biggest impact I think was one I didn’t consider and it surprised me.  Suffering from S.A.D. on top of everything else just sucked and I wasn’t looking forward to going into hibernation again.  This year has been the best winter, ever!  Even though it’s been the worst cold/rain/snow wise.  I still have my dysthymic days, that’s unavoidable, but no hibernation or hiding away and my energy levels have been so much better.

I am my worst critic and find it very hard to feel proud of myself no matter what I do.  But for once, I really do

So lately I’ve been getting a bit of a tremor/twitch thing going on which had really started to bug me and after a really bad day of it, finally went to the doctor’s.  Most likely it’s to do with the OCD side of Dysthymia but best to check there isn’t a physiological cause.  Even if it is an OCD issue, there are things that can help.  Anyway, have been put on Betablockers to see if they will do the trick and it does seem to have calmed down a bit.

Yesterday evening my back started to get a bit stiff and sore without any cause I can think of, which means it’s either going to get really grumpy or will just return to it’s normal achy state.  Sure enough, got up this morning and couldn’t stand up straight. Aaaargh.  This has happened a few times before and is excrutiatingly painful for a while before it eases up and I have to do an odd hunched shuffling walk to get around the house.  Outdoors I have to rely on my trusty walking stick which I am now very glad didn’t get thrown away when I lost enough weight to be able to walk unaided.  I’ve lost 6 stone overall!

Anyway, I had a blood test this morning to check for physiological things causing the tremors and shuffled into the doctors surgery and asked if there was a chance I could see someone about my back.  Luckily there was a cancellation just as I asked and was able to see the same doctor I had seen yesterday.  She took one look at me and said ‘you didn’t look like that yesterday!”.  Just call me Igor

She thinks I have a slipped disc and it’s caused the area around it to spasm so I now have some great drugs and if you shake me I rattle!  Tony also keeps laughing at me cos I am smiling amiably at everything.  *hmpf*

Usually the the week before my birthday I get a little down and aware I will be another year older, but no further forward in my bid to achieve some mental stability.  I try and be positive about it and Tony always helps a huge amount and I end up having a good day.  I really didn’t expect this year to be any different.

I was wrong!

I’ve had an utterly fantastic day, been spoiled rotten and had some really lovely cards and wishes from friends and family.  I am now the proud owner of a Dell Inspiron Laptop, some clothes and some books.  Woohoo!

The laptop is very shiny…. my precious….

Thankyou so much Tony, for giving me a wonderful day and making me very happy

I hope you enjoy your own shiny birthday present Mr iPhone! =D

A picture (finally!) of the necklace and earrings Tony kindly bought me for christmas.

They are by a designer called Kit Heath and I just love them

Yay me!

After relaxing my diet over the christmas period and eating pretty much what I wanted, I gained 5 pounds.  Not as good as it could have been but no where near as bad as I feared either.  I’m OK with it, I enjoyed myself and it’s good to let yourself eat what you want occasionally.  I tend to have my breaks around holidays so easter will be the next time I have something nice (yay easter eggs!).

However, it’s now time to get back onto the diet   I do Weightwatchers online and I find it very easy to follow, requires little effort and I get good results if I’m strict.  The first week of being back on it is usually the worst as your body gets used to it again and it can take that long to get your mind and willpower on board.

I went to Tesco this morning and got some food for both of us for tonight so Tony would be able just to come home and not have to do the shopping thing after work.  I’m happy I can help out that way but sometimes it gets hard if I’m craving something particularly bad for me.

This morning tested me – I was craving chocolate in the worst way so I bought socks instead

Pink and black socks.  With cows on

Yay socks!

This morning Tony asked me…

“Is this how you would expect zombie intestines to look?”

He was asking about one of his miniatures he’d painted which was superb, but still… not a question I ever thought I’d be asked 

He’s keeping a diary of painting on his blog here – it’s well worth checking out!

Happy New Year everyone, I hope 2009 will be especially good to you!